gabesaportaspenis:

i think i lost an electron i’d better keep an ion that

(via cumfort)

dickfaerie:

my favorite activity is pretending that i can sing

(via meeow-xo)

andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

(via the-official-kay)

(via pizza)

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

(via resplendentrosa)

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

(via resplendentrosa)

gallifrey-feels:

oboebandgeek99:

heckacute:

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Why the fuck would I do that

It’s a metaphor

(via resplendentrosa)

scyeezy:

Kiss her, fuck her, miss her, but you never tell her that you love her.

(via fuckyeah-theweeknd)

thenobodylove:

ohpleasemariejo:

just-another-dream:

The best part is he gets slowly more annoyed

god i love this show

Miss this show 

(via resplendentrosa)

(via retouching)

lifehackable:

More Inventions Here